on death {mermaid musings}

Before the New Moon, I think I tried to revive some old, dead things. Some relationships I wanted to be relevant, dropped personas of mine I thought I could feel comfortable in. I think this happens when we deep inside know that something is not thriving, not even surviving, but we are afraid or sad or both to release. 

The cool thing about Scorpio, & new moons, is that whatever we let go of is just making room for what will thrive in our psyches/lives/hearts. It doesn't make the process less painful, or the grieving less present. I wanted to skip that stage, to just accept what is & move on. But I know that underneath, there is sadness there for what I will not be taking with me into my future.

I'm traveling lighter & more authentically, but the understanding of the cyclical nature of life is an adjustment for the parts of you that want to resist flow. Sometimes we may think that power is something we wield & cultivate, and it is. It is also something we must surrender to, stripping away layers of facades. 

If you have a habit of transforming, you will learn to see through what is temporary & what will be more permanent. You learn about your capacity & the capacity of others to journey with you. To change & evolve. We can accept our paths & find our alignment & extend that compassion to others without compromising our metamorphosis. 

And even when some things must die, as close to your heart as they are, it does not mean we pretend it never happened. We can continue to love hard, care deeply, but it is not intertwined with our present, with illusions & fantasies of everything lasting forever. 

I think that when we settle or get too comfortable in compromise, trying to prevent the Death, we cultivate a sense of self rejection. That who we are becoming, where we are going, won't be right. That to burst into flames is scary & to birth from ashes is excruciating. And it may be. But what is the alternative? The word that comes to mind is: stagnation. The other is: regret. 

The only thing we need to fear is fear itself, right? So eradicate yours by loving yourself deeply & unconditionally enough to trust that your process, the Deaths & rebirths you intimate, will mutate you into the most glorious being you can become. 


To Everything & Everyone we have to put to rest to Move On & Deeper:

I will miss you. Sometimes. Always. I loved you. I love you when I remember what we shared. I honor your memory, your existence, your power. And I take you with me as a token on my path. 

saltwater & stars