love letters

a love letter from venus in pisces

am I lovely? did you see me with the rising moon & think there’s no possible way I didn’t come from divinity? I ask because this is how I feel when I look at you.

you might think that it can’t be true. I remember them telling you that your divinity is something you must strive for as if you’re not inherently pure. my heart didn’t start breaking until you started believing them. because seeking something you already are only takes you further from it! I wish I could’ve risen with the moon the night your cells absorbed that poisoned water & whispered to you the truth. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. but I’m here now. will you let me in?

your anger & disappointment is valid. it hurts to realize you’ve been manipulated, deceived, or not supported in your agency. it hurts to realize you’ve been so caught up in running that you left your integrity behind. it hurts when people don’t have the capacity or willingness to be who they say they are, do what they say they’ll do, be there for you. it hurts when the person betraying you is you.

I know you’re terrified to believe differently. to understand yourself as inherently good & pure changes everything. you’ll no longer need to prove yourself, you’ll no longer need to punish yourself, you’ll no longer need to abandon yourself. freedom that requires you forgive yourself or move on from others is not easy. I get that. I’m not asking you to choose it now— I’m not asking you to do anything. I just want to know: do you believe you could? how does it feel to consider it to be true? would you be willing to try?

resist the temptation to dissolve into other people- their presence, their projections, or your imaginings of them. deliver yourself from self-righteousness so that you may experience the unconditional love. because isn’t that what you’re really looking for? isn’t that what you really need? I love you so vividly, I would give it to you if I could. but you must choose it for yourself. maybe now, maybe later, maybe a thousand times over until it is your kingdom come.

Venus has been in pisces since January 13 & will enter aries on February 7th. Venus is exalted in pisces (super happy) but has conjunct Neptune & been squared by Mars, adding layers of anxiety, confusion, & frustration. especially when it comes to relationships/resources, give yourself space/solitude to navigate this transit responsibly.

oxo
ARI

a love letter from saturn, the tough papi

I know consequences feel punitive sometimes. I’m sorry the colonizers got out of hand with that shit. Pluto & I are working on it with capricorn but I digress...

please trust yourself. I don’t mean be arrogant thinking you have nothing to learn. trust that you’re capable of learning everything that you need to. once you learn, you practice. fuck up. practice. fuck up less. practice. continue to fuck up occasionally. how do you think I got so good at fucking your shit up?

I have a bad reputation because people don’t take kindly to humbling experiences. this is for many reasons and varies culture to culture, or so Jupiter tells me, but it’s because we separate humility from power. but there is nothing more powerful than self-trust & confidence combined with knowing your capacity. your strengths & your edges.

I want you to know how to love yourself through hard times, as a discipline. I want you to experience the pleasure of stable support structures, internal & external. I want you to make right relationship & integrity your priority so you don’t need to move in fear & scarcity.

more importantly, let me tell you that hard things don’t happen because you deserve it or because there’s a lesson. sometimes they just happen. my intentions are neutral, like my gender. I try (and I know you do, too) but I can’t control everything. this is why I need you to build trust with yourself. I want you to love yourself enough to want that. it’s the boundary between you & self-inflicted suffering.

I’m not about that abusive tough love bullshit. shit’s just tough sometimes. that’s why you need love.

so let me be the reliable pot to your prolific plant. let me be the bones to your skeleton. let me be the trust to your worthy. let me be the get it done to your shit. let me be the firm ground you walk on without thinking about it. let me be the time of your well lived life.

oxo

ARI