an eclipse + pluto story

this is a picture of the ever resilient dandelion that’s like 3 feet tall  in my parking space but I have a story about a turkey vulture & a squirrel.

in Hannah Gadsby’s comedy special Nanette, she talked about being “soaked in shame” and how a child cannot develop the neurological pathways to maintain self esteem when they do not have support in cultivating it. it was an epiphany & a heartbreak for me, all at once. I felt free from what I didn’t know was holding me back & also deep in what feels like a never ending process of death.

death takes on so many shapes & forms. it is as familiar as it is fresh every time I feel it. attachments have died. love has died. innocence has died. relationships have died. fear has died. lies have died. colonial programming has died. lifetimes have died. versions of myself have died. all within me.

I find myself in another metamorphosis (a word for death). I don’t want to focus on the rejection & abandonment in my story. I needed to be able to name those things & be honest about their impact. it is an essential step in boundary & healing work. what’s interesting is that paying attention to how trauma has made me feel about myself has not been the same thing as healing the trauma.

another epiphany provoked by Hannah Gadsby was, “we learn from the part of the story that we focus on.” I need to focus on the healing, transformation, & abundance that has eclipsed the very long but very over stories of abandonment & abuse that has helped shaped me. because what we give attention to grows* and I crave more healing, transformation, & abundance. which is so much more work than being satisfied with what is or assuming we’ve arrived. to crave is to stay curious & that is harder than defaulting to self-hate.

I am tired of fragile confidence. I am tired of the cycles & spirals that come with how hard it is to trust. I am tired of my default reaction to any discomfort being to question, distrust, & reject myself. I am tired of feeling stuck in the defense mechanisms that I have due to needing to mentally & emotionally survive. and I am grateful to be nourished enough to be able to slow down and notice-that I’m tired.

I was sitting in my car with these thoughts yesterday & feeling so much anger for the deprivation of my birthright to feel like I’m an important contribution and deeply loved.

at a stop, I looked to my left and saw the largest turkey vulture I’ve ever seen right next to me car. in its mouth was a skinned squirrel it was clearly doing its ecological job on.

turkey vultures are death totems. the indicate you’re in a period of transformation & rebirth. squirrels are playful, curious energy. childlike. I was the squirrel, a victim of violence. and I was the vulture, cleaning the blood & guts, turning it into food. completing the process. claiming power.

I am ready to put this particular pattern of fragile self confidence/esteem/love-as-a-verb to death. to use the fertile ground of rebirth to plant the seeds of self worth deeply. watering often. I know this will take time. nonlinear, cyclical time. I know I will need all the incredible support in my life & more tools than I currently have to do this work. I am finding these tools/supports and they will find me. this I know.

because how mind-blowingly synchronistic is it that I would see myself in nature at the exact moment I most needed to?

this is a rebirth story. an eclipse story. one of mine. one of many.

oxo

mermaid musings on eclipses, retrogrades, & you

you have nothing to be afraid of. things don't happen because of astrology. as humans, we have a wild amount of free-will. people are still making decisions; you are still response-able for your self & your life. we cannot control what happens externally but that is true at all times- it doesn't become more true during cosmic events- we're just deeply reminded of it. and being reminded of how little control we have can be humbling. so we use astrology to be more intentional with when we decide to push, pull, advance, retreat. we use astrology to remember that it's not just us in our heads/bodies & that there is also a wild amount of interconnectedness available to us. we use astrology to remember that shit ebbs & flows, waxes & wanes, & that's more than okay- it's desirable. 

many have been asking for my advice on this month. there’s a lot of freak out going on. it saddens me. astrology is to help you listen, give attention, & synchronize with what’s actually happening for you. your chart, your context ultimately matters most. this is why we need astrologers- we're not just here to translate & expand on the current mood, we're here to help you look deeper into yourself. your patterns, dynamics, & capacities. how can you have the full range of all your agency? that is my question. astrology as a practice, to me, is about more response-ability, not abdicating it to the stars. 

eclipses aren’t just one day. they are the weeks & sometimes months, before & after. some say years. point is, they are beginnings & climaxes, like the new & full moons they occur with. they end eras & open ways. clarity. please don’t be afraid. you’ve already been shaping towards what next weeks new moon solar eclipse in cancer means for you. and retrogrades- like mars in aquarius right now & mercury in leo later this month- in essence slow things down. the friction may arise when you don't want to slow down, when you don't make space for that to happen. the magic may arise when you do. 

this is why we need to reject narratives of urgency or fear when it comes to this month/eclipses/retrogrades. instead, ask deeper questions. what support do you need to stay cool, calm, & clear? what are you holding too tightly to or not opening up to receiving, that might be causing tension? much of the time, our discomforts are actually growing pains. most of the time, our insecurities are rooted in focusing more on external validation & affirmation than in being in right relationship with ourselves. this is all a never ending learning curve- don't be surprised when shit shows up over & over again. it's all nonlinear. just like every new & full moon is an opportunity to add or remove a layer. to take the time to cycle through. 

the new moon eclipse opposes pluto in capricorn. intensity for sure- yet we also have a grand trine (three planets in sync) in water & earth. you’ll have a life raft & an anchor. everything you need to navigate the waters of cancer. everything you need to begin this (re)new journey deeper into the cancer part of your chart. if you're like- this is all great Ariana BUT HOW- we can talk about what this means for you if you're really feeling it. if you're really in so many transitions & shifts you need perspective or to reclaim agency. you can even come afraid, & we'll talk through it. no answers, just clear inquiry & uncovering the truths already there.

hopefully I will be sharing more with you all during the coming weeks- youI'll also be delving deeper into what the eclipses & retrogrades are offering in the Commune as well, which is always open to welcoming more mermaids & starlings. because we need right relationship with the stars, with the times, with ourselves. 

oxo
saltwater & stars

SABBATICAL

✨JUNE 13-JULY 1✨
 

the moon is waning in capricorn now & we're grounding after that fiery full moon. lovely time for some announcements!
for the dates above, I will be on sabbatical. I'll also be attending the Allied Media Conference & then celebrating my marriage! I will be unavailable for scheduling, responding to emails, fresh content, & other housekeeping during that time. you will still be able to book but if you wanna talk before July, do so asap. there will be a new moon in gemini $15/15 special but none for the full moon. horoscopes will be up in the commune as usual for the gemini new moon & the full moon in capricorn. you can also follow me on Facebook or Instagram to stay in touch! 

AND THEN: come July, you will be able to schedule with me not just on wednesday-thursday, but other days of the week as well! I have quit my "day job" as they call it & will be giving Saltwater Stars my full attention. this is HUGE, exciting, & 7 years in the making. I am looking forward to having the space to create more astral support & share more mermaid musings. I am also curious about what you would be interested in seeing/experiencing from me. what kind of astral support resonates with you from me? lemme know in the comments & I'll muse on it.

grateful you are here, grateful I am supported, grateful for what's next

oxo
saltwater & stars 

new moon & uranus in taurus

uesday, may 15 @7:49AM EDT | 24 degrees

happy new moon in taurus!  

uranus goes into taurus tonight.  

intentions are so important currently- not just so you have a harvest you can resonate with when the full moon in taurus comes late october, but so you can anchor the energy of this 7 year shift of uranus in aries to taurus. you don’t have to know them today, or ever. it may be enough to pay attention to how you feel & know how you want to feel. but if you have space, be with yourself & think about this time container of 6 months (new to full moon) & how the change-god uranus is on your side.  

I’ve been thinking about how intentions are different than goals. goals can be useful when they’re reframed by our agency, not determined by obligation. goals feel very pragmatic to me. intentions (especially when we’re working with the moon) feel more like space-making. like we’re creating room in our hearts & minds & life for what we want to show up. we’re shaping a container without necessarily being in control of the specificity of what fills it. like, we don’t really know what will come, how the container will change, what the contents will actually be at the end of a cycle. 

goals feel action oriented- we need to stay focused, accomplish things strategically, & be committed. intentions feel intuitive- we need to trust ourselves, know what we want, & be willing to be flexible with it. we navigate with intention. we arrive at goals. neither is better or worse, right or wrong. it seems like two different ways of moving that are both useful in appropriate contexts & with the nuance of understanding our relationship to the pressure within both. 

creating intentions at the new moon can often feel like pressure. we’re releasing what’s no longer necessary to hold onto, we’re opening ourselves up to something new or more. there is tension in this, stretching that must be done gently but firmly. an intention feels more like energy work & goals feel more like tangible/practical work  

I think it’s important that when working with a collective/outer planet like uranus, we’re remembering that we cannot embody this energy. it’s not your job to BECOME uranus, to change everything all at once, to know all the things. it’s your job to trust yourself, to be willing to evolve, & to move slowly enough to do so intentionally. 

keeping this in mind, what do you want to begin now? what way of being, relating, moving through the multiverse do you want to explore? what seeds do you want to plant, knowing that you’ll water & tend to them as needed? remember that you have agency to shape this transition  

be tender with the lessons of the past 7 years of uranus in aries. be tender with the hopes you have for the next 7, as unknowable as they are, as uranus travels through taurus & brings us new opportunities to experiment. uranus will reframe the taurus part of your chart. some of it may feel like it’s happening fast or already happening. don’t be surprised if you’re anxious. inhale & exhale. there is no room for fear here- connect to the abundance of the multiverse that has brought you to this moment & trust it will continue to support you.   

oxo

saltwater & stars