I’ve been thinking about how certain types of bochinche (gossip) are actually sharing the medicine of: “whats happening to me is real and important. my experiences matter to someone.” the world runs on bochinchando. back and forth, who said what, telling stories, circulating information that isn’t about logistics but lived experience. in so many ways, bochinche is about communal accountability or validation. “somebody did some shit (supportive or unsupportive) and everybody needs to know now!”
I grew up listening to mi mama talking with her friends for hours about EVERYTHING, learning from each other & telling stories about harm, repair, & hope. of course, at the time these emotion/experienced based tellings were classified as drama or caring too much. deep care work often happened in these exchanges. I grew up at a dining room table listening to family bochincherxs who probably could’ve used more discernment but also taught me through osmosis how to think critically about people, relationships, & motives. it has cons but it’s often through bochinche that we learn relating, ethics, & cultural codes of conduct.
because of this, the emphasis on “minding our business” when people are going through shit/abuse is happening is suspect to me. it reeks of the hyper individualism that whiteness colonizes us with. what is our business? rest assured, if my people are being hurt that is my motherfucking business. we have been each others business, shared business, been in the business of each others business since time beyond living memory.
I was born when Mercury was retrograde in scorpio which I think reflects the fact that high quality bochinche is my fave. by high quality I mean storytelling with the intent of assessing or validating harm, disseminating wisdom that can’t be taught any other way than by word of mouth, & encouraging critical relational thinking. reflective analysis through communication, intimate retelling, & reminiscing is my shit. remembering what happened & why is often how we shortcut through the same bullshit the next time.
I don’t have a conclusion—I wanna hear your thoughts, especially if you grew up with bochinche! did you grow up with a respect for it? was it taboo? do you have Mercury retrograde natally? what’s up?
oxo
ARI