the elements & relational strategies

I've been thinking about the different ways the elements navigate conflict & relationships. this is a relevant conversation right now as venus is in libra & so is the moon, until Thursday around 5pm EST. venus will leave libra for scorpio September 9 & then retrograde from October 5-November 16, going back to libra where it will go direct. venus is the planet of relationships- how we relate, what we appreciate, & what kind of connection we lust for. venus is at home in libra, the sign of alignment & reciprocity. libra is sensitive to the relationship between things. I shared some libran navigation tips on facebook/instagram but wanted to go a little deeper here.

relational strategies are so, so important for us to be able to recognize ourselves & know each other. knowing what strategies we default into & want to cultivate takes a lot of the pressure off of relationships as an entity to fulfill our needs & allows us to be response-able for how we engage in them. there is no one size fits all. there is no ultimate mold to fit into. we all need people/places/things to show up for us in different ways. we all need different strategies to heal, restore, and move on. when we stop holding so tightly to what we think people/places/things are supposed to be, how we are supposed to be, we can really be in observation of what ebbs & flows on its own. this helps us see clearly how we can cultivate more flow & where we are in the habit of forcing. being centered & clear is actually the most powerful way to be in relationship. we can self-validate AND honor the agency of others. this is an intersection of reciprocity, receptivity, & power in relationships.

here are some examples of the elements & their innate relational strategies:

water (cancer, scorpio, pisces) needs very clean, clear containers & energetic management because water absorbs. it’s easy to poison the water & takes a long time to purify it. water should probably not use strategies for conflict or relationship that leave pathways open/keep toxic people in orbit. there may be  tendency towards passive aggression, over-forgiveness, & resentment. closure is necessary to be able to move on. grief processes & feeling feelings without push or rush through is essential. validation is important so water does not become stagnant- inner trust as well because water knows when to move.

air (gemini, libra, aquarius) needs space & time & much of it. air can blow too strong or stay too still. movement is necessary so communication & flexibility is key. air can tend towards too much flexibility though, so concrete agreements & expectations are helpful in keeping clarity & freedom. air can detach or dissociate, leaving wounds open/untended or people whiplashed. many filters & perspectives are necessary for clean oxygen. air must flow & be adaptable without losing form. this is where relationships become necessary reflections & experiment in trusting there is enough space for others too.

earth (taurus, virgo, capricorn) can be the mountain no one can climb or the dirt everyone walks over. earth needs to know it’s okay to let go & that they don’t need to hold on for fear something else will never come. earth needs strategies that aren’t just about results but also bringing realness to the process. earth needs structure & permission to take their time. reminders that boundaries are as important as vulnerability or patterns will continue to repeat if earth is stuck/stubborn. earth needs intentionality & receptivity in relationships to keep the ground fertile & moist. 

fire (aries, leo, sagittarius) needs to be purposeful to refrain from burning it all down. fire needs to be seen, validated, & allowed to move on without leaving untended emotions & dynamics behind. fire needs something to burn on, some sustainable fuel of direction or usefulness, to stay safe. fire needs to value all ways of movement & navigation in order to maintain relationships. fire will burn out if there is too much reactivity or rush. this will destabilize boundaries & relationships unless they can slow down & remember that solutions are collaborations, not just free-agent decisions.

I hope to go deeper sometime soon into sharing how understanding the elements can support healthy relationships. this is why we need astrology- it's a tool, a lens, for accepting ourselves & others more clearly, leaving room for love.

saltwater & stars