you’re supposed to hate yourself. you’re supposed to treat others as disposable. you’re supposed to think unconditional, safe, freeing love is a fantasy, a myth, a foolish dream. you’re supposed to repress, suppress… I mean it’s really fucking cool to act like you don’t give a shit. it’s really fucking cool to play off your deepest fears, feelings, & fire. it’s really fucking cool to give it all away for comfort/complacency/temporary acceptance. it’s really fucking cool to believe that if you’re real as fuck you’ll never fit, never be loved, never really be free.
the kyriarchy thrives off this shit. oppression needs you to be in pain & stay there thinking it’s the only option. because once you know something better can be just as real, true, & valid as your pain the game is over. this is because we all really know that revolution happens on the frontlines of our hearts. in the crevices of the gaps left where love was absent. at the edges of our vulnerabilities. with the risks we take towards a different way of being, thinking, loving.
revolution happens in the moments where your mind changes, shattering the world as you knew it & creating new ones from sheer ingenuity. when we decenter whiteness so as to destroy it, it’s revolution. when we remember that money doesn’t have shit to do with our importance, it’s revolution. when we choose pleasure over power, when we choose power over submission, when we choose—it’s revolution.
being invested in the people you can call when shit hits the fan (or when it doesn’t) is revolution. treating yourself as sacred & accepting nothing less from others is revolution. knowing what’s most important to you & why then actually living it is revolution. telling the truth about your need for connection & how you need it is revolution. refusing to let oppression/conditioning/trauma dictate what’s possible for you, for us, is revolution. transforming pain into medicine is revolution.
we’re supposed to lie about how much we need each other. we’re supposed to lie about how deeply we crave healing. we’re supposed to lie about what we actually know is possible. we’re supposed to lie about caring at all. we’re supposed to lie about not knowing how to get the fuck out of this mess. we’re supposed to lie about the practicality & accessibility of starting small because only big gestures & visible moves can matter.
I think this all means that more than anything, loving ourselves & each other radically—to the very roots of who we are & why we’re here—is revolution. because there are no lies there, no pretending. and in that space, we can really transform the values we’ve inherited into values we can be full-bodied for. in that space, we can access the pure creative fire that is in us longing for a new world, a better way, a different love. in that space, we can be free.
we want revolution. relationship is how we get from here to there. it starts inside out.
registration for Relationship as Revolution closes on Friday, May 24th @12PM EST.