march 8-July 10: jupiter in scorpio retrograde (exposure sessions are back!)
march 20: sun into aries- astrological new year! spring!
march 22- april 15: mercury retrograde in aries
I hope you are taking deep, real-time care of yourself this week. the new moon is saturday @ 9:11 AM EST. before that, we're in the slow waning towards the dark moon- a time of release, rest, cleansing, & intentional prep for what we want to plant when the new cycle begins. I've been feeling a lot of shedding, a startling amount of clarity, & a confusion that I figured out during divination this morning is really fear, anxiety, anger, & grief. in THE COMMUNE, I wrote about our collective & individual relationships to the non-linear process of grief. including the ways we hold so much fear around it, lack language to be with it, & refuse to feel it. now I'm thinking about what it actually means to feel it, especially when we're not sure of the source, & be willing to ask ourselves really hard questions.
what this new moon might bring: sometimes underneath the tensions & anxieties that change brings is a really deep fear of abandonment. a suspicion that joy is too much a betrayal of the death all around us so we must prepare for someone or something to come & take it away. a paradoxical longing for all we're leaving behind & all that is on its way. an attempt to retrieve the pieces of ourselves we feel we've lost, suppressed, or hidden. terror at the truths that might reveal or the changes it would necessitate. a deeper understanding of our trauma & what healing might mean. the beginning of integrating spiritual practice & awareness into our lives, not simply as a survival tactic but as a thriving one as well. the end of pretending & the beginning of connection. the end of self sabotage & the beginning of letting ourselves off the hook. the admittance of fear & the choosing of hope. the end of lies & the beginning of transmuting truth.
where I'm at: I'm really tired of questions this week- I'm always asking them. and I know I will continue to-it is an ultimatum of healing, of justice, of love. but what I'm ready for is to feel into the answers. the answers that will shift & change & grow. but they're a beginning to integration & I am thirsty for that. from the inside out. in the spaces I travel through we talk so much about healing. some think there is no such thing as complete healing. I'm inclined to agree because I think that it can often become synonymous with completion/perfection. I'm much more interested in transformation, in using what we already have to access deeper, more powerful places within ourselves. and I think transformation honors the death-rebirth cycles that we're often really talking about when we refer to healing. it takes time & there's often a scar, a vulnerability, a tender loving care needed before, during, & afterward. it's not always glorious-rarely, if ever. because we're handling the most painful shit & trying to find a way into ourselves or out of what was.
optional new moon homework: listen to HEALING JUSTICE PODCAST, particularly episode 18 with HEALING BY CHOICE. read this REPORT: RECOMMENDATIONS FOR US RIGHT NOW FROM A FUTURE by adrienne maree brown & sit with these practices:
Practice: Remember we are miraculous and interconnected, and anything less is not worthy of the life-gift we have been given.
Practice: Feel pleasure every day. Don’t let your body, your heart, forget why we fight – to feel aliveness and togetherness. We will grow.
how to shape the new moon: if you are creating intentions, containers, or rituals for this new moon consider the element of water. give attention to what will anchor your hopes/dreams/prayers. be in communion with the collective & the spiritual in some way. do not be afraid of aloneness. do not be eager for closure. ask the question, "are you a coping mechanism?" of everything for clarity on how to stay awake. refuse to hold on to pain, fear, scarcity, or martyrdom as virtuous. replace those mechanisms of sabotage with the bravery, strength, abundance, & willingness to ask for help already within you.