on pluto: personal power & systematic racism {#1}

I was reading about Pluto the other day. How it is the part of our psyche we repress, suppress, depress. It is urges for the life-death-life cycle that make us uncomfortable so we refuse it. It is the gray area of utilizing our negative impulses by accepting & therefore transforming them into power- a word which here means an authentic source of knowing. It is a gray area because so much of our conditioning is done through the black vs. white polarization of morality, theology, religion, thought, beliefs etc.

We are trained to be uncomfortable with the in-between, with the process, with the shedding of old skin. We are told we have to be either good or bad, right or wrong, ignorant or all knowing. There is a denial of the gray because we are afraid of falling into a category, of the unknown, of death. And beneath that, we are uncomfortable because we have repressed our raw power so long that our translations of it have become tainted, intertwined into social|cultural constructs, & fear.

So to look into our power| darkness means to look into the unknown, to drop into vulnerability, & create accountability. 

There are many things that are right or wrong. Yet it is my belief that most issues fall into the in-between where we are trying to create a cohesive belief system rooted in the empowerment of ourselves & all people/systems in our lives. Complex. It is a triggering process. Taking our power back, removing ourselves from victim|powerless dynamics or the other side of Pluto: dynamics seething in control|power over others or the self rooted in fear, negative conditioning about what power is, & ultimately the resistance towards vulnerability. Sometimes it is both. 

So using delving into the death, the darkness of Pluto takes bravery & a development of unconditional self-love. Delving into this transformative process though means that anything that is tied up into our constructs around power, negative or repressed, will also die, if it does not survive. Creating a relationship with your power means truth, raw emotions, & that not everything will stay. Not everyone will stay. Only what will thrive will remain. 

What we're craving when we start being real with ourselves & others-stripping away the facades, the fears, the cover-ups- is authentic power. This means doing no harm & taking no shit. This means taking accountability. Raw power empowers everyone around you, because you are not taking from anyone else to give to yourself, & no one is taking from you to give to themselves. 

It takes time & trust to dismantle shame, guilt, & fear that we have wrapped into our power from our conditioning, our stories, our beliefs. We need resources chosen by our intuition, support given by our receptivity, & gentleness in our internal process. 

Now. For some real time shit. Take EVERYTHING I just said & apply it to the process of dismantling white supremacy & becoming a true accomplice to deconstructing the systematic oppression of people of color & marginalized groups.

For my non-white audience, take EVERYTHING I just said & apply it to the process of healing ancestral & current trauma, the reclamation of your cultural & individual power, & leaning into your emotionality & vulnerability as a vital part of cultivating healthy power. 

It is an uncomfortable process for white people. As people of color, we cannot baby that process. We cannot coddle, comfort, soothe that process. It is necessary & it will continue if it is allowed to be felt. That's where the change comes from. And being in marginalized groups feels Pluto- dark, heavy, complex, overwhelmingly powerful. And realizing you are on the side of the oppressor via your race, conditioning, silence, feels similar. And this is each individuals work. 

WE have our own healing & work to do. We need our support, our resources- that is what is going to keep us in power. I am learning to have sacred boundaries. That all the conversations I have with white people, friends & allies & potential accomplices, are draining because I cannot do their work of awakening for them.

I am committed to always speaking truth, to never staying silent, or keeping comfortable, but I cannot deconstruct all of their conditioning or educate them as to my oppression. This is part of the work, in speaking up, but it cannot be our load. It is exhausting. 

So we have to cultivate our own power & focus on our healing, so that we are stronger, thriving more, & able to use the sharp power of Pluto to see through bullshit, call out oppression, & deal with the what sometimes feels like constant state of rage that dredging up old wounds, ancestral trauma, realizing the impact of systematic oppression has really had on our psyche. Figuring out what our role in the work, in the movement is while knowing that the best revenge is a life well lived.